Does anyone know any good sandwiches?

“I’m not a sandwich person, I don’t think sandwiches are a real food, it’s what you have for breakfast.[...]I will not touch bread if it is moist.”

Kemi Badenoch, Official Absolute Weapon

You’ll have to believe me, my little piadinas, when I say that I actually chose the theme of this newsletter BEFORE this quote came out.

Hello and welcome to 2025, and for our first paid newsletter of the year, we’re dealing with our first theme request from fan-favourite of the newsletter, Emma Moran; I’ll admit the original request was for the best Christmas sandwiches I’d had. However, as a vegetarian and occasional pescetarian, the admissions are scant in this category - after all, my leftover treat is just the bowl of leftover roast potatoes. (Besides I knew it would be at least a month or two after Christmas before I got around to actually posting the damn thing). Also, I’m not going to lie to you, most vegetarian christmas sandwiches are…mediocre at best. In fact, I do kind of understand what Kemi was saying if we are specifically referring to supermarket sandwiches in general, although I find they manage to be weirdly dry and limp at the same time. But sandwiches, as much as Badenoch may dislike it, follow a strong English tradition.

Historically, as many people know, the name ‘sandwich’ was named after the Earl of Sandwich - specifically the fourth Earl of Sandwich, John Montague. However, sandwiches existed long before then, albeit in a looser sense; flatbreads have been wrapped around meats since at least 1st Century BCE across Western Asia and North Africa, and specifically what the Scandinavians and Dutch might call an ‘open sandwich’ has existed in the UK since the Middle Ages. A ‘trencher’ was where stale bread was used as a plate for meat, afterwards the sodden remains being fed to dogs or beggars.

So why the Earl of Sandwich? Supposedly he was one of the first to suggest putting the meat between two slices of bread; the story goes that the second layer of bread would protect his fingers from getting grease on them while he was gambling.

However, according to Pen Vogler’s: Scoff: A History of Food and Class in Britain, Montague’s biographer suggests the actual reason was because the man was a workaholic and lived behind his desk. It’s hard to say where the gambling story came from exactly, although he certainly had a colourful history.

According to Albert Jack’s book What Caesar Did for My Salad, Montague was known for , as well as his preference for double-breaded snacks, being what some might call a flop. Despite his supposed work ethic, not only was he known as being incompetent, but also potentially corrupt to the point where he drove the Navy into such a state that many credited him for Britain losing in the American Revolutionary War. This was combined with the fact he was part of the Hellfire Club, a secret society that were rumoured to be orgiastic Satanists. Whether any of this is true, it was clear he needed some good PR and why not be known for a popular snack?

Diane Purkiss in her book English Food: A People’s History attributes the rise of the sandwich in general with the rise of afternoon tea. The 1700s was when the concept of the afternoon tea really became popular and with it they started serving ‘rolled bread-and-butter’, as Mrs Beeton describes it in the 1800s. Sandwiches then progressed to be filled with either beef, ham or tongue (none of which will be featuring on my best-of list), with more genteel options like cucumber sandwiches only being popularised in the 1870s, showing up in their most famous form in Oscar Wilde’s play The Importance of Being Earnest.

ALGERNON: Please don’t touch the cucumber sandwiches. They are ordered specially for Aunt Augusta. (Takes one and eats it.)

JACK. Well, you have been eating them all the time.

ALGERNON. That is quite a different matter. She is my aunt. (Takes plate from below.) Have some bread and butter. The bread and butter is for Gwendolen. Gwendolen is devoted to bread and butter.”

From the 1920s, perhaps the biggest sandwich innovation came along: the invention of sliced bread. From this point, sandwiches were no longer restricted to the upper echelons, being sold in cafes, pubs, diners and railway stations everywhere. However, as these were often sold unwrapped, in a lot of places, especially train stations, sandwiches became known for dry, curling edges until the 1970s. In the 1945 film Brief Encounter, you can see this being referenced where two soldiers, after being refused alcohol by the refreshment cafe server Myrtle Bagot, insult her age by saying:

“If them sandwiches were made this morning, you're Shirley Temple!”

Luckily for train servers across the country, in 1979, Marks and Spencers started selling their sandwiches in little wedge shaped boxes in their chilled section. Within the year they were selling them all across the country. According to journalist Sam Knight, by 1990, the sandwich industry in the UK was worth 1 billion pounds.

Over thirty-five years later, the sandwich has remained a mainstay of British lunch and cuisine. A couple of years ago, my friend Ben once asked in a conversational lull does anyone know any good sandwiches? At the time, it was laughed at, becoming a recurring joke whenever there was any awkward pauses, but years later I have realised I am genuinely interested in the answer. Unlike Kemi, I love sandwiches. While I love food, if you ask me to choose a proper meal and a good sandwich, I know what I would pick nine times out of ten. So I decided to definitely rank the best sandwiches of my life so far just in case you’re interested too, and maybe provide some inspiration for your next sarnie.