hello my little brandy snaps, and welcome back to another week of HALF BAKED.
As usual, we’ll be reviewing this week’s bake-off as well as two brand new sections: The DIY edition, where I try a themed bake at home, and Some Other Good Food, a mini-instalment of my usual food newsletter with recommendations of both restaurants and supermarket goods.
The vibes, man, the vibes
So in terms of the actual bakes, I don’t have loads to say. I’ve never had a brandy snap and it was nice to see a technical bake that wasn’t from The Dark Ages. In terms of showstoppers, of course Jurgen and Giuseppe delivered with Jurgen's ‘Grandpa’s Windmill’ surprising absolutely no one, while Giuseppe chose the very wise strategy of an almost entirely flat board game. There were some surprise contenders as well in Chig’s pool table (wisely leaving the interactive and structural elements separate) and George’s slightly rough looking plane that actually withstood flight. I love George, as he claims he’s a perfectionist despite so far as consistently served messy looking bakes almost every time. It’s the same as when people come around my house and I have to apologise saying ‘it’s not normally this messy’.
However, I want to talk about this episode’s energy as the vibes in the tent were…well, horny to say the least. The whole show had an air of Austin Powers about it. As well as the usual Bake-Off innuendo, there was a breathy exchange between Paul and Prue about some particularly good brandy snaps and a vivid depiction of Paul’s bum as ‘two beige moons dancing in the sky’ from Noel which Maggie enjoyed a little too much.
Also, it should be said that this vibe carried on off the screen. While Jurgen was his usual adorable old German man self, the picture of young Jurgen made our watching party shout ‘DAMN JURGEN'!!”. I don’t think the cooking world has been set so alight by one photo since that one picture of Nigel Slater in the 70s with his, ahem, snug trousers.
Also, I have to say the bleeps on this series of Bake-Off might be the longest bleeps I’ve heard on any show ever. I’m not sure what curses this contestants are using, but every time they seem to be getting longer. I wouldn’t be surprised if by the end of the series, each episode is going to sound like the radio edit of Azealia Bank’s ‘212’.
PREDICTIONS:
Currently, my top three remains unchanged with Jurgen remaining the flavour king, while Giuseppe and Crystelle reside underneath him for now. Next week is Bread Week though so the pressure is on for Jurgen to deliver.
However, special Legend of the Week award (for contestants to admire regardless of their baking skill) go once again to our fave Lizzie, who continued to bring the chaos this week with the reveal that instead of practicing, she watched Harry Potter instead. Truly a procrastinating icon we can all relate to.
Also, shout out to Amanda’s daughter who we only saw for about 30 seconds but was so instantly recognisable with her sour face and dyed hair, you could almost hear her scrolling her phone and telling her mum ‘ACAB’ under the voiceover.
Bakeoff: The DIY Edition
As this week is biscuits, for my at-home bake I thought I’d try to make some form of cookie. Admittedly I was nervous as historically, pretty much every biscuit I’ve made has magically turned into a cake somewhere along the process.
So I needed a recipe I could rely on, and who else to turn to but the icon, the legend, the queen herself Nigella. I’ve admired her for a while now, especially as someone who wholeheartedly celebrates food being for pleasure’s sake, but it’s taken me a while to make any of her recipes (or anyone’s in fact, I think I’ve been enjoying eating out/not washing up more).
So for biscuit week, as I happened to finally pick up some Maldon sea salt flakes, I thought I’d try her Mine-All-Mine Sweet and Salty cookies.
It’s a relatively straightforward recipe, which you can easily multiply the ingredients for more - her version makes two, although I made four. I did panic for a while as the dry ingredients seemed a lot more than the wet ones, but if you keep the faith and keep mixing, it will work out.
The verdict?
Honestly, they were the best cookies I’ve made. Not only do they look like the real deal, but they are rich and slightly fudgey thanks to the brown sugar, with the salt flakes hitting your tongue and making your mouth water just that little bit more. It’s best paired with your preferred milk or milk alternative, and next time I’ll be more generous with the sprinkle of salt, but I’ll definitely be adding these to my repertoire. I kept one in the fridge and had it for lunch today and it was still excellent. It’s a whole new world, and I’ll definitely be trying more biscuit recipes and Nigella recipes in general in the future.
Some Other Good Food:
While I keep Finally Some Good Food on hiatus during bakeoff, I thought I’d put some of my other food recommendations here so I don’t have a massive backlog come November.
Habas (Manchester) - After a disappointing lunch, this was a lifesaver. Absolutely banging mezze with lovely houmous, labneh and baba ganoush. Also, their desserts are all fantastic with their panna cotta with raspberry, peach and mint truly the best I’ve had in a while.
Moorish smoked houmous - a nice, almost meaty tasting houmous that goes well with falafels, roasted cherry tomatoes and couscous (I used Ainsley Harriott’s, which I consider a cupboard staple for a quick and easy lunch/dinner)
The Chippy (Didsbury) - a swanky chippy that offered a classic chips in a lovely soft muffin. Will definitely return to try their goats cheese fritters.
Shaken Udder Strawberry milkshake - you can’t have more than a little bottle, but it’s like a delicious, slightly fancier Yazoo.
Maldon Sea Salt Flakes - the G.O.A.T. of seasoning, particularly excellent in bakes and served with crispy potatoes.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this edition and all the new sections and let me know your thoughts, predictions or if you try any attempts at baking.
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