It’s coming to the end of 2019/start of 2020 and we’ve already been bombarded by end of year/decade posts, which let’s be honest is an excuse for fragile people to brag (myself included).
So in order to (sort of) balance that out, I’ve looked at an article I wrote last year and decided to make an honest list of what actually changed and what didn’t.
Things I planned to do but didn’t because everything kind of went to shit about 3 weeks into the new year:
Didn’t leave my job because it turns out I need the money more than I need mental health
did not become a part time vegan/eat healthier (did discover microwave chip butties though much to the disappointment of my family chip cooking heritage)
establish any regular habit of exercising, writing or any healthy habit tbh (I blame the chip butties for this one)
did not start flossing more (seriously, I wish I could watch paint dry to magically make my teeth better at this point)
Possibly went backwards in my comedy career, which is impressive to achieve considering I was basically nowhere with that to start with
Moved anywhere in my writing career either (I would count the rejections I have but 1. too many to count 2. some I deleted in bouts of crying seshs).
In order to not completely depress myself and under the advice of my therapist, I will also include this list:
Things I somehow did do in spite of everything going to shit and regardless of whether I actually planned it
actually started cutting down things that aggravate my IBS including alcohol (albeit only in the last month, where the rule “soft drinks unless mulled” worked surprisingly well. I have yet to see how the rest of the year goes sans mulled spices soI might revise for the summer seasons to allow for Pimms and Sangria).
Went to therapy. Admittedly this happened precisely because everything went to shit and only happened about 2 months after everything initially hit the fan but am forever grateful regardless. Get it if you can folks!
Moved house. I didn’t actually plan to move but that’s landlords for you. Through the 2 month notice period and having to argue with scummy estate agents trying to scam you out of more money and one of the most useless men I’ve ever dealt with, this period took a healthy 4 months out of my life!! But I do have an adult sized room with a proper desk now so that’s a plus.
Cut down social media in favour of books. Admittedly this was after the general election results, but managed to cut down Twitter in favour of nice fictional romcoms. I highly recommend, especially if you’re sick of everyone’s opinions (unless it’s my opinion then please do treat with the due diligence it deserves.)
Created stuff. I got into watercolour painting again 8 years after a GCSE teacher told me it would never be my strength and actually got paid for it so suck it Miss ******* *****-******!! Same goes with some freelance articles and started writing a book so that’s something.
Whilst usually at this point you would usually get a list of next years aims, if I’ve learnt anything you can get surprise evicted/redundant/mentally ill at any point so sometimes it’s okay not to plan too much or at least share those plans anyway in fear of inviting some almighty Jinx.
I will say though, both me and my therapist would recommend making a list of things you managed to do against the odds which you can add to throughout the year and remember that when people post all the cool stuff they’ve done, they’ve almost definitely not included the 80% of the time where stuff didn’t work out/they did nothing/cried whilst eating chip butties.
Happy New Year and see you in 2020!
Ruby